Special Needs

When Sunny and I first started our journey with adoption, we spent countless days discussing our strengths and weaknesses and what we believed we were capable of accepting in our adoptive child....After making the decision to apply for a "special needs" child, we were anxious to find out what special need God would send our way....when we received a referral for Amay, we were blessed to know that Amay had very few medical conditions and hardly anything that we would consider a special need.....Most of his medical needs would be met with several years of speech and physical therapy.....so though India considered him a child with "special needs" we considered him a child with a special need for a family.....However, a month after meeting and taking care of him, I realize that every child from an institution is a special needs child...regardless of how healthy or unhealthy the child is, they will have many "special needs"...First and foremost, their insecurity causes them to act and react in many unexpected ways...sometimes Amay cries for no reason while other times he hits or yells...sometimes he smothers me with kisses while other times he wants nothing to do with me...His major special need is love..he needs to be loved in ways even he often doesn't understand....Sunny and I are often not sure how to love him....b/c even when we try to love and hug him, he rejects us...Sunny has tried to let him know that we will always be his family and always love him, but he is having a hard time understanding...somewhere in his 4 year old mind, he believes that one day, we will leave him too...and it will be a "special need" we will always have to nurture...Love and Trust...two things he needs,....my thoughts and prayers go out to all adoptive mothers and mothers with children with special needs...I believe God chooses special parents for His "special" children.....