On February 23, I ran my first Half Marathon at Disney World in honor of orphans around the world in support of an organization called Health for Orphans. Specifically, I ran for 2 adopted kids, Baby R and Noah. (You can read more about these beautiful children on my previous blog). I would like to take this time to thank all my family and friends who supported me and this wonderful cause with their prayers and donations. The two families are truly grateful for your thoughts.
So, everybody has been asking me about how things have been going at the Mehta household and how our Disney trip went. Needless to say, the Half Marathon was one of the best experiences I've ever had. People always say that adoption is not a sprint, rather it is a Marathon. And so, as i ran my first half marathon, i realized that my adoption journey was very much a marathon. The first couple of miles (or months) I was pumped to find out what the experience was all about. So I left the group that I was running with--Health for Orphans--and went out running without really pacing myself, only to find myself out of breath and alone without the support I had coming into the race. Very much like adoption, where I spent a lot of time learning and "training" from parents who were in the adoption journey. It felt good to have the support and know that they were there when you needed them. But as time went on and my son came home to me, I felt alone in the whole process and didn't know where I was headed and who I could turn to. Everybody was moving a lot faster than I was and seemed more "experienced" at parenting (or running) than I was. And though everybody told me that adoption was not a sprint, i felt like i was running fast. Perhaps running away from all the issues and insecurities that came with adoption. The Half Marathon became easier once I found my pace and the confidence knowing that "I could do this". And adoption, too, becomes easier as time goes on. You find that you aren't so bad at parenting. And sometimes you need to give yourself a "walk break". And that everybody "runs" differently. There were times during the half marathon that i wanted to just throw my hands up in the air and give up....I was tired... I didn't want to run anymore because i didn't know where i was headed...and more importantly, i was afraid to fail. And it was times like this that I needed to know that there was a bigger purpose....I needed the text from my husband that came just in time....."Keep running, the kids are at the finish line cheering for you"....and it reminded me that this is my purpose. My kids, our kids, the world's kids.....this is our purpose in running for a cause...running for orphans...running for adoption...and though we are afraid to fail our adopted children, they need us to finish what we started..to love them to care for them, and to be their "forever".. Along the way, i found so many people cheering us on......and as others empowered me, i felt like i empowered others.....and as i passed the finish line, i saw my three beautiful children and my amazing husband. I received my Half Marathon medal, and it felt good. The entire day felt good. As do my nights with adoption when i have finished a long day with my son. But the next morning after my half marathon, i woke up thinking "that was just the Half, now I have to find the energy to finish all the way"........as in adoption, there are many nights where i feel good about our journey and our accomplishments, but there are many days where i know that i am only half way there...how will i ever find the energy to go all the way...because there certainly is truth in what they said to me.."adoption is not a sprint, it is a marathon"...not a half marathon...a full marathon...
Amay is doing wonderful. He truly has made many big strides in this past year. He started Kindergarten this past year and has surpassed our expectations for him. He continues to amaze us in the way he has beautifully transitioned into our family. We continue to find ourselves struggling in a few "adoption" related issues, as do so many other families. Attachment, frustrations, grief of loss....it is all a part of our daily life with Amay, but on the bright side, he is a happy kid with so much potential. Amay still struggles with separation issues. When his father leaves out of town or if i leave to go to the store, he falls apart. He asks if I will be back and a switch goes off in his head and he just loses it. He also struggles with how to deal with mommy saying no to him. He feels that when I tell him he can't do something or that I won't do something for him, that it is a direct rejection. When he first came to us, when i said no, he would spit at me, bite me, or pull my hair. He has definitely grown out of that phase, but it is still very hard for him to deal with mommy saying no to him. So I have to make sure I use my words positively with him to avoid meltdowns. For example, if it is time to get out of shower, i have to say "it is time to come out of the shower" instead of saying, "no more shower"...the latter sentence has gotten him yelling and screaming and hitting me. Finally, he still struggles with food issues. He has yet to figure out how much is healthy for him. We continue to bounce back and forth on the best way to deal with his food insecurities, but have not yet found something that works for the family. Since all the kids in our house are very close in age, it is hard to set rules for one child without hurting another. Needless to say, we are working at it all. One MILE at a time......
So, everybody has been asking me about how things have been going at the Mehta household and how our Disney trip went. Needless to say, the Half Marathon was one of the best experiences I've ever had. People always say that adoption is not a sprint, rather it is a Marathon. And so, as i ran my first half marathon, i realized that my adoption journey was very much a marathon. The first couple of miles (or months) I was pumped to find out what the experience was all about. So I left the group that I was running with--Health for Orphans--and went out running without really pacing myself, only to find myself out of breath and alone without the support I had coming into the race. Very much like adoption, where I spent a lot of time learning and "training" from parents who were in the adoption journey. It felt good to have the support and know that they were there when you needed them. But as time went on and my son came home to me, I felt alone in the whole process and didn't know where I was headed and who I could turn to. Everybody was moving a lot faster than I was and seemed more "experienced" at parenting (or running) than I was. And though everybody told me that adoption was not a sprint, i felt like i was running fast. Perhaps running away from all the issues and insecurities that came with adoption. The Half Marathon became easier once I found my pace and the confidence knowing that "I could do this". And adoption, too, becomes easier as time goes on. You find that you aren't so bad at parenting. And sometimes you need to give yourself a "walk break". And that everybody "runs" differently. There were times during the half marathon that i wanted to just throw my hands up in the air and give up....I was tired... I didn't want to run anymore because i didn't know where i was headed...and more importantly, i was afraid to fail. And it was times like this that I needed to know that there was a bigger purpose....I needed the text from my husband that came just in time....."Keep running, the kids are at the finish line cheering for you"....and it reminded me that this is my purpose. My kids, our kids, the world's kids.....this is our purpose in running for a cause...running for orphans...running for adoption...and though we are afraid to fail our adopted children, they need us to finish what we started..to love them to care for them, and to be their "forever".. Along the way, i found so many people cheering us on......and as others empowered me, i felt like i empowered others.....and as i passed the finish line, i saw my three beautiful children and my amazing husband. I received my Half Marathon medal, and it felt good. The entire day felt good. As do my nights with adoption when i have finished a long day with my son. But the next morning after my half marathon, i woke up thinking "that was just the Half, now I have to find the energy to finish all the way"........as in adoption, there are many nights where i feel good about our journey and our accomplishments, but there are many days where i know that i am only half way there...how will i ever find the energy to go all the way...because there certainly is truth in what they said to me.."adoption is not a sprint, it is a marathon"...not a half marathon...a full marathon...
Amay is doing wonderful. He truly has made many big strides in this past year. He started Kindergarten this past year and has surpassed our expectations for him. He continues to amaze us in the way he has beautifully transitioned into our family. We continue to find ourselves struggling in a few "adoption" related issues, as do so many other families. Attachment, frustrations, grief of loss....it is all a part of our daily life with Amay, but on the bright side, he is a happy kid with so much potential. Amay still struggles with separation issues. When his father leaves out of town or if i leave to go to the store, he falls apart. He asks if I will be back and a switch goes off in his head and he just loses it. He also struggles with how to deal with mommy saying no to him. He feels that when I tell him he can't do something or that I won't do something for him, that it is a direct rejection. When he first came to us, when i said no, he would spit at me, bite me, or pull my hair. He has definitely grown out of that phase, but it is still very hard for him to deal with mommy saying no to him. So I have to make sure I use my words positively with him to avoid meltdowns. For example, if it is time to get out of shower, i have to say "it is time to come out of the shower" instead of saying, "no more shower"...the latter sentence has gotten him yelling and screaming and hitting me. Finally, he still struggles with food issues. He has yet to figure out how much is healthy for him. We continue to bounce back and forth on the best way to deal with his food insecurities, but have not yet found something that works for the family. Since all the kids in our house are very close in age, it is hard to set rules for one child without hurting another. Needless to say, we are working at it all. One MILE at a time......
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