Thank you!

It is going to be quite some time before I get to write anything since we are going to Ahmedabad on Wednesday and I won't have access to a computer....but I just wanted to take this time to say thank you to all of you who have sent us many thoughts and prayers...your kind words and support have made a world of a difference......this journey is nothing that we could have prepared for...as we have been trained for everything that may come our way, but still are not sure how to attack it...but today, Sunny told me that he connected with Amay for the first time...and it makes me very happy to know...Sunny and I have both struggled with the "attachment" process...we have read a lot about how a child might struggle to "attach" to the parents....and we were prepared for it...but we didn't read much about how parents might struggle to "attach" to the child...and Sunny and I have been constantly been on a roller coaster ride with him......but it was comforting to know that Sunny is on his way to connecting with him...it is hard....and often it makes us feel like we are bad people....how are we not able to immediately love a child who needs our love so badly?....and I am still not sure why not...but it is a very slow process......but today is a wonderful day....the kids are playing with Sunny...running around and having fun....Amay asked me something in Gujarati yesterday which made me extremely happy that he was picking up on my language....and today I am just happy...we took the kids out to a park yesterday and watching Amay on the merry go around was beautiful..he had a huge smile on his face and it warmed my heart.....at that moment, it didn't matter what i felt for him, how angry he often made me...how confused i often feel...at that moment, i was just happy to see him so happy...for the first time, i felt that he was able to be a kid.......he just kept laughing....and it truly warmed my heart...and then when the ride was over, that feeling left me and i was stressed again..hahah....but thank you all for sharing this journey with us....can't wait to update you on our trip to delhi when we get our visa.....today is good day....i love my kids..i love my sisters and brothers and family who are a constant support for me...and all of you who have made this journey easier.......and i love my beautiful husband who is my rock.....he makes me stronger when i feel i can't fight anymore.....and he assures me that i can still love more when i feel i have no more to give......i thank God for all that he has blessed me with.....!!